Friday, August 30, 2013

Our Unlikely Package

P31 OBS Blog Hop
We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose
Romans 8:28

About 7 years ago my college daughter announced she was pregnant. The flood of emotions ranged from anger to disappointment, from embarrassment back to disappointment, around and around the emotions churned in my head and heart.  She had always been an A student.  She did well in school, she was smart, and had never been in trouble.  She graduated from high school a year early and immediately started taking college classes. It was then she started down a path of her own that was wider and wilder than I could ever admit out loud.  In fact, I tried my best to pretend some of the teenage things she was doing were not really happening. Unfortunately, her path seemed to be the path of the majority. Something I could not fathom. As a parent I felt defeated by the darts of life.

My teenage life was so different, in ways I fought for my life. I had to grow up early.  I had to become responsible or I would have been living on the streets. I had to go to work as soon as I was old enough and have worked every day since.  I didn't 'party' as a teen. Peer pressure was never my friend, in fact, I was somewhat of a loner. I wasn't a popular kid in school and that was okay.  I was always driven by a purpose and that purpose was to make something out of myself and my life; to be the best I could be regardless of the circumstances that had been laid out for me.  I knew God, but I did not have a relationship with Him. I couldn't tell you that He was at the center of my life - but there was a prevailing force that continuously pushed me forward and so I trudged day by day, month by month, year by year forward. It was far from easy. In fact, so many times I wanted to give up and felt so alone but then I'd feel the tug and step by step I would keep moving forward. I didn't have time or money to waste divulging in the alcohol and other recreational vices others were participating in.  I did make some bad choices looking for love in all the wrong places and for this I'm not proud.  In my quest to become the person I wanted to become I also wanted a family - the family that I did not have.  This led to seeking relationships and eventually a very early marriage that brought me this precious daughter that I get to write about today.  Was I really so different than my daughter?  Did I have the right to be angry? Disappointed? Emotions were rampant.  Satan was having a field day and I didn't even know it.

My daughter was working for a law firm and going to college.  She was in a relationship with the baby's father and was now setting up her own house.  The advice I gave her may sound startling to some - but she did not have to get married.  And she didn't, not for 2 years.  

I couldn't get excited about this baby on the way.  I went to doctor's appointments with her, experienced ultrasounds, bought lots of sweet baby things, but the thought of her life changing with a new baby at such a young age destroyed any possibility of me being happy or excited, much less ecstatic.  I didn't feel it.  I went through the motions, went down the path; for nine long months I tried to build some excitement. The joy never came.

My husband was not even 40. I was only 42 when a little boy came into the world that January. He stole  my heart immediately. The joy came.

From the day he was born he became the love of my life. When things were tough and I was down,
Our 1st Grandson - Trey
all I had to do was pick up that sweet baby boy - that innocent little guy that knew nothing about the circumstances of life - and the heartaches of those days were washed away.  Complete and utter joy.

'Some of God's greatest gifts are wrapped in unlikely Packages'                   (taken from study)

I allowed circumstances to steal 9 months of my life. I burned 9 months wishing I could be happy, struggling with feelings of guilt because I wasn't.  I tormented myself internally during this pregnancy thinking only about the negative.  She wasn't married (yet I was happy she wasn't getting married), she had school to finish and a degree to get, I didn't know much about "dad" but she didn't meet him working in her law firm or in church!  He couldn't be good enough for her.  In fact, he was totally opposite from what I wanted for my daughter.  She was doing everything backwards. She wasn't doing anything the right way.  (or the way I thought she was supposed to.  This wasn't in MY  plans!) And I dwelt on these things day after day after day. What a complete and utter waste of God given days.

In my bible study book, 'What Happens When Women Say Yes to God" by Lysa TerKeurst, Lysa says this:  ".......God will work in and through every situation to bring good from it. ....God has a purpose and His plans to accomplish that purpose are perfect.  Trusting God's purpose, and seeking to understand that He takes all the events from our life and orchestrates good from them, leads to a changed perspective'

Only now that I have a relationship with God can I look back at this situation and see how God used this situation to bring good from it.  How our joy came in a very 'unlikely package'.   God took a situation that to me at the time was a nightmare and turned it around to bring joy into a place that needed joy.  My life's perspectives changed. Among the joy he brings to our family, he continues to teach me every day about unconditional love, along with his little sister.

I am sad today because I have a brand new grandson that I have not yet met. My son fathers a baby that is 5 months old. Due to the choices of this baby's mother, our family is unable to spend time with him.  I have not yet held this precious, sweet boy but have no doubt in my mind that God will take this situation and use it to bring good from it. I have no doubt that He is working this out so that this sweet boy will have the love of not only his mother's family but of his father and his father's family as well.
God's newest creation.
 Today I praise God for these 'Unlikely Packages'.  Today I have faith in a God of restoration and healing. Today I can stand here thinking about this new grandson knowing that it won't be long before our lives will be blessed as a result of the works of our Father, who 'takes all the events from our life and orchestrates good from them, leading us to a changed perspective'. 

Take some time today and think about an 'unlikely package'  in your life.  My life has been full of them; however, today I stand in awe as I think about how each was used.  God is Good all the time!


Father, today I pray for each reader, for the circumstances or unlikely packages in their lives.  Father may they be comforted knowing that if they will have faith and believe in you, that according to your purposes, each will be used in their lives to bring them closer to you and to provide a 'changed perspective'.  I pray that we will face each day with joy in you and not waste  precious time in negative thinking or brash attitudes. I love you Father and am so thankful that today I stand at your feet with complete peace in all things. Amen.         
In God's Holy Light,
<3 Kelley                          

She Speaks Graduate